Dumb & Dumber (1994) - #244

Empire top 301: #244
IMDb top 250: -

Rating 6/10

"Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!"

Director: Peter Farrelly
Writers: Peter Farrelly, Bennett Yellin & Bobby Farrelly 
Starring: Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels & Lauren Holly

Harry (Daniels) and Lloyd (Carrey) are two brainless losers who try to return a suitcase full of money to its pretty owner (Holly). After a journey full of accidents they arrive in snowy Aspen, Colorado and try to find her. But will they succeed?

In 1994 I was 10  and when my parents finally let me watch this movie when I was a couple of years older, I thought it was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. Myself and my siblings watched it over and over again and we always found it hilarious. Now 20 years later after watching again, I can still say it's a very funny movie. My humour over those years has changed so there are several moments in the movie which no longer make me buckle over with laughter. However, Lloyds fantasy over Mary and Harry's toilet scene still make me roar and I still find Harry's reply to the cop's calling of "pullover" with "no it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing" absolute genius. 

Both Carrey and Daniels are very funny in the movie, especially Jeff Daniels who plays stupid really well. Terri Garr is criminally underused and I would have liked to have seen more of her character. Lauren Holly's deer in a headlights acting, wears thin on me now and I find her character rather irritating. 

Dumb & Dumber has become a cult classic, but of all the Farrelly brother's comedies I'd have liked to have seen in the top 301 it would have been There's Something About Mary which I feel is much better and funnier than this. 

Clerks (1994) - #169

Empire top 301: #169
IMDb top 250: -

Rating 3/10

Director: Kevin Smith
Writers: Kevin Smith
Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes, Marilyn Ghigliotti & Kevin Smith

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

Dante Hicks (O'Halloran) is a retail clerk working in a convenience store, called in on his day off to cover for another employee who is sick. Dante turns up at the convenience store to find the shutters can't be opened as vandals have jammed gum into the locks and his day goes from bad to worse. Along the way he manages to get a $500 fine for selling cigarettes to kids, has angry smokers attack him with cigarettes and lose his girlfriend. Along the way he is visited regularly by his friend Randal Graves (Anderson), who works in the video store next door and is completely rude to every customer he serves and who manages to add more trouble in to the mix for Dante. 

Having seen and enjoyed Mallrats, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Chasing Amy I was rather looking forward to seeing Clerks. I was so disappointed!! I found maybe a total of 5 minutes of this film funny. After viewing the film I read that it had been voted on many a "most overrated movies" list and I couldn't agree more. I just found this to be a really badly acted, poorly written movie about two complete douchebags that I just wanted to punch in the balls!

The "jokes" if you could call them that were so lazy and obvious and pretty much just revolved around dicks, hermaphrodite porn, necrophilia and farts. They weren't even clever or well filmed, they were just YAWN! I was even bored by Jay and Silent Bob who I actually think are hilarious in the previously mentioned films. 

The acting was pretty awful from everyone, especially from Jeff Anderson. His mannerisms, his voice, his clothing...pretty much everything about him made me want to kick my TV in. I refuse to believe anyone in the world would be spoke to like a piece of dirt by someone like him and not kick his teeth in. Brian O'Halloran is another hideous creation! A whiny, wimpy, annoying tool that no woman would want to go near, let alone two. And Marilyn Ghigliotti just bugged the life out of me, her voice was like nails down a chalk-board. Perhaps she sucked 36 dicks because people just wanted to shut her up!

I'm sure this was voted into the top 500 because it was filmed on no budget but to me I just found it really boring. Perhaps if I was a stoner or retail clerk I would have found it more amusing.

Wouldn't watch again!

The Crow (1994) - #241

Empire top 301: #241
IMDb top 250: -

Rating 5/10

Director: Alex Proyas
Writers: David J. Schow & John Shirley
Starring: Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson, Michael Wincott, Anna Levine & David Patrick Kelly

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever."

Eric Draven (Brandon Lee) returns home on Devil's night, to find his fiancée Shelly being brutally attacked by a group of local thugs. He is attacked and thrown out of a window to his death whilst Shelly is raped and also murdered. One year later Eric rises from his grave as an undead avenger intent on seeking revenge for his and Shelly's death. 

I didn't hate The Crow but I never really liked it either, it didn't bore me but it never really excited me either. I'm not really sure whether it was the cringey dialogue, all over the place nature of the film or the bad over the top acting that made me indifferent to the movie.

The script is just so corny, I was cringing for the actors having to deliver such awful lines. Whether this had an effect on their performances or not I don't know but it was all just too silly, the whole "fire it up, fire it up" thing was just ridiculous and didn't make the thugs seem at all threatening, if it wasn't for the knives and guns they were carrying you'd have just thought they were a bunch of simpletons! David Patrick Kelly, who I love in The Warriors, is just awful here as are the rest of his cronies! 

Michael Wincott is the absolute worst though, his performance is so over the top, but not even in a "Showgirls" type of way or one that befits the comic, it's just so cartoony and ridiculous. The young girl Sarah was also a major annoyance for me. I can't abide precocious children on screen or in real life and she has got to be one of the worst. Throughout I just wanted her to be run over by a garbage truck whilst she was skateboarding on the roads! 

   
Brandon Lee is amazing as Eric and I really love the character of The Crow and what he did. In a better movie, with much better dialogue and direction it would have been perfect, it's like he's giving a 10/10 performance in a 5/10 movie. I'd never seen the movie before but had known the story of Brandon's unfortunate death and I found myself watching the film waiting for that particular scene to come up and wandering how much had to be changed and re-shot and perhaps this affected my enjoyment of the movie. 

I found a lot the scenes quite dark, not in a moody sense, but in a "it's so dark I can't see a thing" kind of way and this annoyed me somewhat. It's definitely a movie I'd watch again at some point later in my life but I wouldn't rush to watch again just yet.

The Lion King (1994) - #66

Empire top 301: #66

IMDb top 250: #75

Rating 9/10

Director: Roger Allers & Rob Minkoff

Writers: Irene Mecchi, Jonathan Roberts & Linda Woolverton

Starring: Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Jeremy Irons, Whoopi Goldberg, Rowan Atkinson & Nathan Lane

"It means no worries for the rest of your days, it's our problem free philosophy. Hakuna Matata!"

The Lion king tells the story of Simba, the future King of the Pride Lands of Africa and his evil uncle Scar who is resentful of Simba as he replaces him as heir to the throne. Tricked by Scar into thinking he's killed his father, Simba leaves Pride Rock guilt ridden abandoning his responsibilities as King, leaving Scar to rule. 

I was 10 when The Lion King first came out. I remember seeing it at the cinema, getting very emotional when Mufasa died, being on the edge of my seat during the stampede and dancing along to the infectious soundtrack. I played the movie to death when we finally owned it on VHS. Nearly 20 years later I still adore this movie. It's a Disney classic.

Like so many Disney classics it's greatness lies in two things; the characters and the songs. It's songs written by Elton John and Tim Rice are so good and always have me singing along; from I Just Can't Wait To Be King & Circle of Life to the two stand outs for me Hakuna Matata and the Academy Award winning Can You Feel The Love Tonight. 

The Lion King boasts a superb all-star ensemble voice cast, led by the delicious tones of Mr Darth Vader himself James Earl Jones. The perfect choice for the majestic and powerful Mufasa. All the voices lent to The Lion King fit their characters perfectly from Rowan Atkinsons Zazu to Whoopi Goldbergs hyena Shenzi, but the real standout is Jeremy Irons as Scar, so charming and persuasive but with a real evil streak running through it. 

Scar is another perfect Disney villian, brilliantly voiced and written. It's really the supporting characters who steal the whole show; like Scar, and Timon and Pumba. They get the best lines and the best songs. The animation is very of it's time but it works, it's vintage yet classic Disney. 

The Lion King is a brilliant film, for the whole family and for me it's up there with The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and Beaty and The Beast as one of Disney's all time greats.